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    September 16

    The shoe-thrower

    Muntazer al-Zaidi, who threw his shoes at George Bush, will be set free on 14 September. Martin Chulov meets the family of a man who became a symbol of resistance to the US
    As his size 10s spun through the air towards George W Bush, Muntazer al-Zaidi – the man the world now knows as the shoe-thrower – was bracing for an American bullet.
    "He thought the secret service was going to shoot him," says Zaidi's younger brother, Maitham. "He expected that, and he was not afraid to die."
    Zaidi's actions during the former US president's swansong visit to Iraq last December have not stopped reverberating in the nine months since.
    Next Monday, when the journalist walks out of prison, his 10 raging seconds, which came to define his country's last six miserable years, are set to take on a new life even more dramatic than the opening act.
    Across Iraq and in every corner of the Arab world, Zaidi is being feted. The 20 words or so he spat at Bush – "This is your farewell kiss, you dog. This is for the widows and orphans of Iraq" – have been immortalised, and in many cases memorised.
    Pictures of the president ducking have been etched onto walls across Baghdad, made into T-shirts in Egypt, and appeared in children's games in Turkey.
    Zaidi has won the adulation of millions, who believe his act of defiance did what their leaders had been too cowed to do.
    Iraq has been short of heroes since the dark days of Saddam Hussein, and many civilians are bestowing greatness on the figure that finally took the fight to an overlord.
    "He is a David and Goliath figure," said Salah al-Janabi, a white goods salesman in downtown Baghdad. "When the history books are written, they will look back on this episode with great acclaim. Al-Zaidi's shoes were his slingshot."
    From his prison cell, Zaidi has a sense of the gathering fuss, but not the full extent of the benefactors and patrons preparing for his release.
    A new four-bedroom home has been built by his former boss. A new car – and the promise of many more – awaits.
    Pledges of harems, money and healthcare are pouring in to his employers, the al-Baghdadia television channel.
    "One Iraqi who lived in Morocco called to offer to send his daughter to be Muntazer's wife," said editor Abdul Hamid al-Saij.
    "Another called from Saudi offering $10m for his shoes, and another called from Morocco offering a gold-saddled horse.
    "After the event, we had callers from Palestine and many women asking to marry him, but we didn't take their names. Many of their reactions were emotional. We will see what happens when he is freed."
    From the West Bank town of Nablus, Ahmed Jouda saw the incident on television news and felt so moved that he called together his relatives for a meeting in a nearby reception hall.
    Jouda, 75, a farmer and head of a large extended family, convinced his relatives to contribute tens of thousands of dollars to support Zaidi's legal case.
    Jouda himself decided to sell half his herd of goats; another man asked if he might offer a young woman from his family as a bride. Jouda said he would, if Zaidi was interested.
    "I said we are willing to present him with a bride loaded with gold," said Jouda. "We are people of our word. If he decided to marry one of our daughters we would respect what we said.
    "We are compassionate and supportive to the Iraqi people for what they have gone through.
    "We are people who have tasted the bitterness, sorrow and agony of occupation too. What he did, he did for all the Arabs, not just the Iraqis, because Bush was the reason behind the problems of all the Arab world."
    Zaidi's brother insists that no one put Muntazer up to such an act. But he revealed that Muntazer had told him he had pre-scripted at least one line ahead of the fateful press conference.
    From the roof of his brother's new home, Maitham al-Zaidi said: "He always thought he would die as a martyr, either by al-Qaida or the Americans. More than once he was kidnapped by insurgents. He was surprised that Bush's guards didn't shoot him on the spot."
    Muntazer al-Zaidi has told Maitham, and another brother, Vergam, that he is planning to open an orphanage when he leaves prison and will not work again as a journalist.
    "He doesn't want his work to be a circus," said Vergam. "Every time he asked someone a difficult question they would have responded by asking whether he was going to throw his shoes at them."
    Muntazer has alleged that after his actions he was tortured by government officials. Medical reports say he has lost at least one tooth and has two broken ribs and a broken foot that have not healed properly.
    "He will stay in Iraq, but first he has to leave the country to get his health fixed," said Vergam.
    In the run-up to his release, Maitham has a sense of the reception awaiting his brother.
    "I feel like Michael Jackson at the moment. Everywhere I go, people are taking pictures of me and asking for my photo. If they do that for me, what will they do for Muntazer himself?"
     

    他那双10码的鞋子在空中旋转着飞向乔治·W·布什的时候,Muntazer al-Zaidi这位举世皆知的扔鞋者正准备迎接美国人射来的子弹。

    他当时觉得美国特工会毙了他,”Zaidi的弟弟Maitham说,他早想到了这一点,他不怕死。

    从去年12月美国前总统月卸任前访问伊拉克到今天已经过去9个月了,但Zaidi的惊人之举至今仍余波未平。如果说Zaidi去年那次10秒钟的暴怒是伊拉克人民过去六年中悲惨生活的真实写照,那么当他下周一刑满释放的时候,这位记者的新生活注定比开场的一幕更有戏剧性。


    在全伊拉克乃至整个阿拉伯世界,人们都在称颂Zaidi。他甩给小布什的20多个字——“这是送给你的临别一吻,你这只狗。这是为了伊拉克的所有孤儿寡母”——已经成为不朽的佳话,甚至被很多人背诵下来。美国总统低头躲鞋的画面被刻在巴格达大街小巷的墙壁上,印在埃及的T恤上,出现在土耳其儿童的游戏里。

    有数以百万计的崇拜者称颂Zaidi义举,他们相信Zaidi不屈的抗争正是他们他们的懦弱的国家领导人不敢做的。自从萨达姆黑暗的政权开始,伊拉克人缺少自己的英雄,而站出来对抗美国领主的Zaidi在许多伊拉克平民的心中就成了伟人。

    他是一个像击败歌利亚的大卫式传奇人物,巴格达闹市区的家电推销员Salah al-Janabi说,当人们编写历史书的时候,他们将满怀赞许地回顾这一段。Al-Zaidi的鞋子就是他的弹弓(译注:大卫用弹弓打败巨人歌利亚)。

    Zaidi
    在狱中就多少感觉到了他逐渐飙升的人气,但他绝不会料到大大小小的资助者们为了迎接他出狱做了多少工作。


    Zaidi
    以前的老板为他新建了一座有四个卧室的房子。一辆崭新的汽车——和更多允诺要送给Zaidi的汽车——也在等着他。嫁女、送钱、提供医疗服务等各种各样好承诺如潮水般涌向雇佣Zaidi的巴格达迪亚电视台。一个住在摩洛哥的伊拉克人打电话来说想把自己的女儿送给Zaidi做妻子,电视台编导Abdul Hamid al-Saij说,另一个人从沙特阿拉伯打电话来要用1000万美元买Zaidi的鞋子,还有人从摩洛哥打电话来要送给Zaidi一匹配有金质马鞍的马。扔鞋事件发生之后,有人从巴勒斯坦打电话给我们,很多妇女都想嫁给他,但我们没有记录她们的名字。她们中许多人情绪激动。我们要看看Zaidi被释放之后情况怎么样。

    在西岸小镇纳布卢斯,Ahmed Jouda从电视上看到了Zaidi向布什扔鞋的消息。他当时十分感动,将亲戚召集到附近的一个招待所里开会。


    75
    岁的农民Jouda是一个大家族的族长。他说服族人们捐出几万美元,支援Zaidi的官司。

    Jouda
    自己决定卖掉一半的羊;另一个族人询问他会不会把自己家族中的一位年轻女子嫁给ZaidiJouda说只要Zaidi同意,他就会。

    我说我们愿意把一个全身金饰的新娘嫁给他,”Jouda说。我们说话算话。如果Zaidi愿意娶我家的一个女儿,我们会尊重他的意愿。

    我们同情并支持伊拉克人们的遭遇。我们也经历过苦难、悲伤和国家被人占领的痛苦。他扔向小布什的鞋子不只是为了伊拉克人民,也为了整个阿拉伯世界,因为小布什就是阿拉伯世界所有问题的万恶之源。

    Zaidi
    的兄弟坚持声称Zaidi这样做不是受人指使。但他披露说,Zaidi在那场决定命运的新闻发布会之前提前写下了至少一行文字。


    站在哥哥新家的房顶上,Maitham al-Zaidi说:他一直都觉得他会以身殉道,不是被基地组织就是被美国人杀死。他被叛军绑架了不止一次。他很惊讶竟然布什的保镖没有当场向他射击。

    Muntazer al-Zaidi
    告诉Maitham和另外一个兄弟Vergam,他正在计划在出狱后开一家孤儿院,并且不会再从事记者工作了。


    他不希望他的工作成为博人一笑的马戏,”Vergam说,每次他提出一个尖锐的问题,对方都会反问他会不会朝他们扔鞋子。

    Muntazer
    曾声称在扔鞋之后遭到政府官员的酷刑折磨。医学报告指出,他至少掉了一颗牙齿,两根断了的肋骨和骨折的脚一直也没有痊愈。他会留在伊拉克,但首先他必须出国疗伤,”Vergam说。


    Muntazer即将刑满出狱的时候,Maitham感觉到他哥哥将要受到怎样热烈的欢迎。

    我现在觉得我像迈克尔·杰克逊一样。无论我去哪儿,人们都会给我拍照,或者要我的照片。如果他们对我都是如此,那他们对Muntazer又会怎样呢?

     
     
    September 15

    准备完明天开会的内容之后,突然诗性大发,写这个题目就是为了证明上次的不算很长

    小诗
     
    太阳下班,
    我却看不到星光,
    刷牙,直到
    满嘴血腥倒在床上,
    颤动的嘴唇,
    将所有的秘密,
     
    塞到枕头旁。
     
    谢谢
    September 08

    Baby Bang

     
    September 07

    两肋插刀其实不一定比没做准备就让小护士扎针疼

    命运就是,
     
    你越是急于寻找一样东西,就越是找不到,
     
    等你慢慢静下心来时,它就会悄悄的出现了。
     
    你越是不想看见什么,它偏偏就来什么,而且是突如其来,令人猝不及防。
     
    恐怖就是,
     
    当你踏着紧张的音乐,一路颤颤巍巍、抖抖花花逃进安全木屋,
     
    然后上了一保险、二保险、三保险和四保险之后,长出一口浊气,音乐停止
     
    接着发现宠物狗狗被忘在门外,门口响起它无助的呜咽,
     
    你灵机一动,准备把它从门下狗洞抱进来,
     
    突然钻进一张血盆大口,和半条狗。。。
     
    我不知道是否有人理解这种紧张过后放松中再次被shock。
     
    我真正想说的是
     
    文化差异体现在工作中就是,
     
    当命运和恐怖相结合。
     
    September 05

    10 Husbands, Still a Virgin

    10 Husbands, Still a Virgin


    A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

    On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

    "What?" said the puzzled groom.

    "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

    "Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

    Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

    Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

    Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

    Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

    Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

    Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

    Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

    Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

    Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

    "Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

    "You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

     


    10个丈夫,仍是处女

     

    一个律师娶了一个离过十次婚的女人。

    新婚之夜,她告诉新婚的丈夫,“轻一点儿,俺还是个黄花闺女。”

    “啥——?!”新郎懵了。

    “结过十次婚怎么可能呢?”

    “唉,一号丈夫是个销售代表:他总是告诉我那事儿将来会有多爽。

    二号丈夫是个软件客服:他总是弄不明白到底应该怎么办,但是他说他会研究研究然后答复我;

    三号丈夫是做现场服务的:他说一切都检查诊断过了但是他就是没有办法让整个系统开工;

    四号丈夫是做电话销售的:就算是他知道已经拿到了订单,他还是不知道什么时候能够发货;

    五号丈夫是个工程师:他理解基础流程但是需要三年时间来研究,实施,并设计一种最尖端的方式;

    六号丈夫是财务管理部门的:他以为他知道,但是不确定那是不是他的工作;

    七号丈夫是做营销的:尽管他的货不错,但是他从不清楚如何来定位它;

    八号丈夫是心理学家:光说不练;

    九号丈夫是个妇科医生:光看不练;

    十号丈夫是个集邮的:他干的只是……天哪!我真想他!但是如今我既然已经嫁给了你,我真的很激动。”

    “好的,”新婚丈夫说,“但是,为啥呢?”

    “你是律师。这次我知道我会被整了!”

     

     

    September 04

    吃着碗里的,看着碗里的

    没想到上一篇日志竟然是那么狼狼阿狗之前的事情

    没想到我居然还会再玩QQ,认识我的童鞋们,请不要忘记加我:昏,应该是1272208511,对不起大家,ORZ

     

    忍不住要先唠叨一句,QQ上做什么都要输入验证字母,瞬间被我惊为天人,奉为神龛,简直比百度还有本土特色,直教人想起七八十年代做什么事情都要开介绍信一样,一张介绍信能或方或扁盖上六七个章。可是这种苦涩的倒退,在广大Q族眼里还是瑕不掩瑜,就跟Kopi Luwak这种麝香猫拉出的咖啡一样,明知是大便,还是挡不住一尝再尝。

     

    天哪,我可是要记录我做饭来着,见亡灵了,居然以大便作为开头。晦气,晦气

     

    晚上的主角其实不是俎上菜,而是我10里亚尔的案板和14里亚尔的利刃。倏忽,工欲善其事,必先利其器。说直白点,身边睡着谁本不重要,关键那张床才是陪你度过生命1/3的依赖。那谁,我可不是在说你。关键时候打什么喷嚏。

     


    首先是青菜,据说是不用化肥的,水灵灵的样子很诱惑吧,跟哪吒一样,就算剁成十七八段,拼吧拼吧,又是一条好汉。

     


    经验不足啊,把大片容易切的都先切了,所以埋没在底下看不到了,反而是棱棱角角被捧在了最上边,真是跟这个社会一样荒谬。

     


    好吧,好歹加上配料烘托一下

     

     


    注意了,创意菜的秘方来了:把洋葱爆炒了鸡蛋,然后又用鸡蛋炒了土豆丝,就是我的“葱爆鸡蛋土豆丝”了,其实这是世俗的叫法,在我眼里,她有另外一个名字,叫满城尽带黄金甲。。。

     

     


    最后搞笑一记,谢谢收看。。。